COUPLES THERAPY
Are You At An Impasse In Your Relationship Or Marriage?
Perhaps you and your partner are struggling to get along, one or both of you is changing, or you’re finding more core differences than you anticipated. Couples therapy can be a place to discuss these themes with a guide and witness, as well as a place to facilitate connection.
For instance, do you sometimes feel...
ignored, misunderstood, or unappreciated?
lonely, hopeless, or powerless to change your situation?
emotionally gridlocked, unfulfilled, or invalidated?
Maybe it is impossible to have important conversations with your partner or spouse without them spiraling into arguments. Or perhaps working, raising children, or just navigating life has all but killed the romance between you.
Relationship Issues Can Happen On Many Levels
Whether you are married or in a committed relationship, even the happiest, healthiest couples run into challenges. A relationship does not have to be in crisis in order to benefit from couples therapy, and many couples benefit from being in therapy proactively. Perhaps you and your partner simply feel disconnected, and neither of you quite understands why.
Perhaps adult life somehow built a wall between you when you weren’t looking.
Maybe changes in life, family, work, lifestyle, routine, or your body is bringing intimacy issues. Or perhaps you are in the midst of a crisis—one borne out of trauma, an act of betrayal, or another form of emotional wounding that jeopardizes your relationship.
Regardless of your situation, if you are in a place of pain and want support for your relationship or marriage, couples therapy can help. Having a container, an objective third party who is on the side of health in your relationship, can be invaluable. Working with a therapist can offer you and your partner the insight and tools needed to feel resolve, repair your relationship, and grow—both as a couple and as individuals.
Reach out today!
Even The Happiest Couples Eventually Face Challenges
Despite what romantic movies and pop culture would like you to believe, committing to life with another person can be a difficult transition into a more mature adult life. Even fulfilled healthy couples have trouble communicating and connecting. Sometimes, one partner feels less heard, supported, or loved by the other—other times, a partner experiences pressure to “do more.” Eventually, most people question some aspect of their relationship.
Unfortunately, social and cultural forces often create unrealistic expectations for marriages and relationships that can place undeserved stress on a couple. Television and movies create convincing fictional narratives of love that are effortless and not real life. Social media adds self-doubt, disappointment, and a competitive need to keep up with some unspoken strange expectations—even in our relational lives.
We are all conditioned to believe that being in a relationship without conflict is the mark of perfection. The truth is: relationships take work and learning how to navigate conflict is an important skill in long-term relationships.
What Do We do With Relationship Ruts
Hardly anyone—not us, our parents, our educators—have been taught how to cultivate and maintain healthy relationships. Given that the only relationship models we have to fall back on are those of our parents, we do the best we can despite lacking good direction.
We will all run into challenges in our relationships. I am an experienced couples counselor. One of the most consistent reflections I receive is I really “get in there” with couples and offer facilitated guidance. Teaming up with me can help you identify what’s actually happening behind the scenes of your relationship so you can learn to communicate, navigate conflict, and be better teammates to one another.
I am also happy to work with families and adult parent-child relationships. Sometimes having a facilitator for family challenges is a helpful remedy and I am happy to support family systems work which I always integrate into my couples work.
Couples Counseling Can Change and Enhance Your Relationship In Powerful Ways
When it comes to tackling problems in a relationship, friends and family are often our first stop for support. However, despite their noble intentions, the people who love us the most usually have natural biases that can compromise even the best advice. Sometimes, going to close people isn’t the best way to protect the health of the relationship.
Working with a couples counselor gives you an impartial ally with an objective point of view who can help you communicate, resolve long-standing issues effectively, and give unbiased feedback. There’s no taking sides, couples therapy is about the health of your relationship as the top priority. Therapy sessions with me will allow you to fully express yourself, be heard, and discover what you need to be more fulfilled and connected.
Many people ask, what if conflict happens in session. This is the perfect place to bring a conflict. We work with and fully address the patterns, behaviors, cycles, and find better footing with how to handle rupture and repair.
What To Expect In Personalized Therapy Sessions
Couples counseling sessions are tailored to your needs, your relationship, and equip you with skills that can enable you to better communicate, overcome conflict, and empathize with each other. As we work together, you may grow as individuals, restore your intimate connection, and become the couple you want to be.
To get to the root of what creates discord or tension in your relationship, we will first discuss a few things: What are your primary concerns? When did these issues become a problem and what has been the impact? In what ways are you hoping counseling will help your marriage or relationship?
Once I have an understanding of your history and the core themes that need to be addressed, we’ll find strategies for either restoring what you once had, or building something new together. We may begin therapy by exploring your personal histories, including any relational wounding—such as betrayal, rejection, or abuse—that is creating problems in your relationship now. We’ll also find proactive steps for moving forward together.
As we explore the past, you and your partner can learn to…
cultivate a shared sense of understanding, empathy, and compassion toward one another in the present.
navigate everyday stressors like work, finances, parenting, and the distracting impact of technology.
rebuild trust and increase intimacy.
improve communication skills so you can resolve conflict and find repair more quickly, without becoming defensive, critical, or resentful.
Effective Treatment Approaches For Couples Therapy
It’s important to to create a treatment plan fitting for each couple’s situation. I draw from a range of effective, evidence-based therapeutic methods. Sometimes, I may help you work on personal dynamics—how you see yourself, what makes you feel valued, and how you each show up in your relationship. Other times, I may have us focus on repairing your relationship and addressing incompatibilities.
Whatever you are struggling with, couples counseling can help you heal and improve your relationship or marriage in numerous ways. Everything evolves—our minds, our bodies, the world in general—and certainly our relationships. The key to thriving is learning how to adapt to these changes and grow together, not apart.
With the help of couples therapy, you can navigate your relationships on every level with greater ease and confidence.
Perhaps You Are Considering Couples Counseling, But You Still Have Some Concerns…
I feel that seeing a marriage counselor is admitting we have failed as a couple.
If you’re reading this page, you most certainly have not failed your relationship. You’re demonstrating an incredible amount of care, courage, and resilience that we build upon in sessions. You’ve taken an important step in healing and restoring the connection you once had by considering support.
Does couples counseling even work?
Absolutely! Merely working with someone who has no agenda other than helping you investigate your relationship and feel clear about your future can be empowering. It does not take years, but it is an investment. The more you bring your full selves to session, the more your relationship benefits from your energy. The awareness and skills you gain from therapy can help you overcome future problems on your own, ideally safeguarding your relationship in important ways.
I am not sure I really want to invest in working with a couples therapist.
Therapy is a temporary investment in your well-being that can last. Knowing yourself, how your partner works, and what you need is invaluable—couples therapy offers that. Rather than crossing your fingers that things will get better, you can learn practical tools that have an enduring impact on yourselves and your relationship. If nothing else, couples therapy is a way to outsource some of the hardest parts about a relationship.
You Can Have A More Fulfilling Relationship
If you are tired of arguing, being hurt, or feeling disconnected in your relationship or marriage, couples therapy can open up possibilities. I see couples in my office as well as virtually via telehealth. Sometimes online sessions offers a required flexibility for couples who may not be able to make it into the office together regularly. I’ve worked with some couples virtually for years and offer a high standard of care and presence. Please contact me if you would like to know more about how I can help you heal and enhance your connection with your partner.
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